They say that the truth hurts. Does it really? It can sometimes, like getting a tooth pulled out. Or a root canal. Those things hurt, trust me. But feeling that constant nagging ache that is your soul telling you to change. To make that difficult phone call or just move on. That pain will eat away at you until you can’t stand it, until every area of your life is infected and you just don’t know why everything hurts.
I’ve fallen in love with lies many times. I would look the other way when someone showed me their truth, when the universe was frantically waving red flags. I wanted that man to me my man, I wanted to believe he was faithful, believe that my love could change him. I knew better, but I wanted to believe I didn’t.
I didn’t want to hurt anyone. Or myself. So I stayed in friendships I’d long outgrown. They can change, I would tell myself. I can make them understand. I’m just overreacting.
When I silence that voice because I don’t like what it’s saying, it becomes easier and easier to hush. To the point where its hard to hear it saying things like, “you’re worthy of this persons love and your own,” ” you deserve to feel safe, to be with people who you feel comfortable around”, “you are beautiful just as you are”. Refusing to face the truth, your truth, makes making decisions impossible. I’ve been plagued with indecisiveness for a long time, staying in negative situations by default because I just wouldn’t listen to the voice of truth telling me to make a change. I’ve been consciously trying to change that pattern, but it still creeps up from time to time. I’ll tell you, that indecisiveness will rob your energy, creativity and power, if you let it.
Loving the truth can be like loving a child, or a spouse. They push your buttons, anger you, they can be frustrating. But you love and accept them anyway, even when they don’t make you feel warm and fuzzy. You embrace them. You make an effort to see and hear them. Don’t just face the truth like a head on collision, learn to fall in love with it.
The truth can be ugly sometimes, raw, gnarly. In those moments when you face it in all its bitterness, you are your most beautiful authentic self. When you bring your presence and awareness to the truth, you can soften it. See it as an awakening light rather than a fire meant to destroy you. And once you’ve allowed yourself to face that truth head on, it can step aside to let you see what is on the other side of it.
Alot of times we’re afraid to face the truth because we can never quite know what lies beyond that moment. We don’t want to face a truth that will spell the end of a relationship, because there is a fear inside of us that we’ll never feel love like that again. Beyond whatever truth you are afraid to face is an infinite field of possibilities. This is where it takes faith. And its never sure. We can dream and visualize and pray all we want, but there will always be that element of the unknown, like diving into a pool for the first time.
What is for sure is that seeing and hearing the truth is always better than being stuck. Grieving a loss is better than living with a lost cause.
Here’s one way to determine whether something is true or not: say a statement that you know to be true, something factual, such as, “My name is Stephanie”, or, “I live in Canada.” Become aware of how that truth feels in your body. Now speak about the thing that you are wrestling with. It will be a statement like, “I belong at this job,” or, “I should stay in this relationship.” See how that feels in comparison to the statement that you know for a fact to be true.
Deep at the center of our hearts is a place that knows the truth. A place that accepts and loves it. The more we can tap into that place, the more we can open our hearts to amazing new possibilities, and the closer we get to living the lives that we have imagined.